The past little while I have been thinking a lot about how quickly it seems that my boys are growing up. Right from the moment W was born over 12 and a half (almost 13!!) years ago I knew this time in my life, and their lives, would go by quickly and I promised myself that I would enjoy every moment of mothering. I decided then not to try to rush any bit of their childhood to get to the next step but to enjoy it for what it was at the moment - to really be in the present with them. Of course I learned that's not always possible but I do think I have done a good job of fully enjoying all the pleasures and lessons that motherhood has to offer.
A lot of circumstances have been coming together lately that have me mulling over how quickly our babes grow up - a friend living in the "full on" stage of mothering (she is attachment parenting twins and not getting much sleep) that I remember so well it seems as though it was yesterday; another friend who will soon be welcoming her new baby into her family life that already includes two lovely little ones; some drawn out health issues that have necessitated even more independence on my boys' parts; the realization that my first born is entering a new stage of his life (a teen) and that I will soon be learning new mothering lessons and the realization that my "baby" is getting Huge! and no where near a baby anymore.
It seems that most everything in my life right now makes me think of "those mothering years", the ones from birth until about 6 years of age, when things are so completely absorbing that I didn't have time to think of anything else. I look at the tire swing and think of all the games that the boys made up that revolved around an old tire. I look under the plum tree where the sand box sat for 8 years until last year they sold it at a garage sale because they didn't use it anymore. A trampoline has replaced the swing set that my little ones played on for many years and the Tonka trucks sit mostly unused in the playhouse. When I look out my kitchen window at the walnut tree I think about all the hot summer afternoons when we sat on a blanket and read together.This year is the first time in 9 years that we have not had a bean teepee in our garden...and it makes me sad. E decided that this year he would have a sunflower house instead so when I saw the book Sunflower House at the library I brought it home for us to read. It was lovely. And it reminded me even more how quickly time passes. I look at each mudpie he makes and wonder how many more there will be.
I guess even though I always knew how quickly this time would pass I still find myself surprised at how quickly it did pass, especially since they have always learned at home and I have always been with them. I can't imagine how I would feel if they were away for most the day. So, for now I will continue to enjoy my days with them, I will work to be even more fully in the present with them and ...
I will stop and watch and smile every time I see this.