Sunday, September 19, 2010

Friends

I haven't felt much like writing on this blog lately.  Two weeks ago my very dear friend of ten years lost her struggle with Inflammatory breast cancer and I am missing her dearly.  I think that if we are very lucky we will be blessed with some amazing friends throughout our lifetimes and I feel very lucky to have been blessed with this friend. I am heartbroken to lose her.  She was eight years older than I am and also a mom to two homelearning boys.  She had been there for me since the start of our homelearning years and was always a source of quiet wisdom - not just on learning at home and respectful parenting but on living life with grace, patience, consideration and zest.  Her calm, her steady pace and the way she never felt the need to rush were qualities I admired even though they were (and are) not natural to me.
I always felt that she was a person from whom I could learn much and in the last years, when she had been doing her utmost to beat her illness, she was even more of an incredible inspiration to me.  If I can live my life with even a portion of her grace, if I can face my difficulties with just a fraction of the positive attitude with which she faced hers, if I can move through life (even the challenging parts) with a sliver of her delightful sense of humour and if I can be as kind, considerate and joyful as she was throughout the years I've known her, then I will feel that I have lived my best life - well and truly.
I know she would want me to start trying to move forward now - past the sadness - and I'm going to make my best effort.  Whenever I start feeling sad I'm going to stop and think about her gorgeous laugh - the one that would literally burst out of her so that sometimes she would put her hand to her mouth as if to stop it - and her delightful giggle (yes, an actual "hee, hee" giggle!) which was joyful music to my ears and always made me smile.  She was an absolute treasure and I feel so very blessed to have known her, loved her and learned from her.  She has taught me so much about choosing joy and not sweating the small stuff  that I will be forever grateful to her.  And I'm sure for the rest of my days I'll be listening for her laugh...that beautiful, joyous laugh.

18 comments:

debbiedas said...

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, Heather. I have only a couple of friends that I feel this way about and can't imagine life without them. But you are right, they give so much to us...and make us better people. I hope you are able to move on soon knowing that she will always be with you. Sending love, Debbie

Lise said...

Oh, I am so sorry. What a terrible, terrible loss. You've written a beautiful tribute.

Erin said...

Oh, Heather I cannot imagine your sadness and feelings of loss right now, as they are unique to each of us during a time of grieving, and each person grieves their own way that is the best way for them. Your friend sounded like a wise woman and mama, and she may likely have thought ahead to the time you would be grieving her loss, and maybe she's fine with however it goes for you. Your own journey is the right way for you. It sounds like you have shifted towards letting go and acceptance, and trusting in the healing, and remembering her laughter is a beautiful way to acknowledge your connection to her, and for it to live on. She sounded lovely.

I like to think of both my brother's and my Dad's twinkling eyes and smiles and of my Dad's gentle playful energy, it always brightens my mood.

Please know you are in my thoughts, and have been for a week or so, and if you would ever like to connect for support or to share a special memory, just to have someone there, please don't hesitate! You gave me such support during my own grief processes, and I would love to return that presence with a compassionate ear and heart.

Sending love to you and your family....

~Erin

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I know you will carry your friend with you in your heart and your memorires forever - please know you also touch peoples lives, I live on the other side of the world and read your blog eagerly and lovingly.

Shell said...

Sending hugs to you and holding you in my thoughts xxx

magsmcc said...

I follow your blog from very afar, and always marvel at your wisdom and fruitfulness. I love the idea of living your best life, and picture your friend rejoicing now in delight at her legacy to you.

moment to Moment said...

How very fortunate to have been blessed by the presence of such a wonderful woman. It is indeed a gift, the ability
to dive into our sorrow and to find the wisdom and learning that is there for us, to take what life gives us and trust in the purpose of it all.

affectioknit said...

I am so sorry for your loss...Peace be with you...

amo said...

Well said, Heather.

jane said...

I so very sorry for your loss.

Kelly said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You must have been an incredibly wonderful friend to your friend. A beautiful tribute. Holding you in my thoughts and praying for her family.
Best wishes

Starcat said...

So very sorry to hear about your loss. Your friend sounds like an inspiration. As other readers commented, you inspire us via this blog. Thanks so much.
And many blessings to you,
Nikki

watching kereru said...

may you be surrounded with love and strength as you negotiate your way through the sadness and grief. kia kaha.

Mary-Sue said...

Oh, Heather, this is just beautiful! Makes me sob, of course, but you've really captured your friendship here. absolutely beautiful!
so much love!!!
m-s

Garth said...

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Naturally Chic Mama said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. My dad passed away suddenly and tragically 2 months ago and it is so hard. I'll be praying for you!

Heather said...

Thank you all so very much for your caring comments. It is quite a treasure to be surrounded by such kindness, I'm grateful for it. I really do appreciate your thoughts and the time you take to share here.

deb said...

I'm sure that you're friend felt the same way about you as well. May time and wonderful memories bring you peace and comfort.

xoxo